I posted awhile back about one of my patrons at the library, an elderly man, who was recently diagnosed with liver cancer. Sad to say that he died a few days ago.. :-( I didn't even know until I was reading the Prayers of the People at church yesterday, and we were praying for his family... It's unusual in a small town not to know everything within a half hour of it happening, but for some reason I hadn't heard. I also hadn't known that his funeral is today. If my mom hadn't called me last night to let me know, I probably would have missed it.

I will miss Ray very much. He was the most sweet and gentle person. I'm glad that the cancer took him relatively quickly. He was 92 (I think), and it was his time to go. I hope he didn't suffer, but went quietly and gently -- as he lived life. Darn, I'm going to miss his frequent visits to the library.......

I spent much of the last two days doing yardwork -- mostly just raking leaves, etc. Bags and bags and bags of leaves... lol. The boys were gone on the weekend, so I worked by myself yesterday afternoon, but Sheldon was off school today so he helped me this afternoon. Our yard is so big and needs so much work... and I HATE yardwork. I really do. I used to have a garden some years ago, but finally gave up on it when I started working at the library. I never enjoyed it, and it seemed like I never had the time that was necessary to keep it from getting overgrown with weeds. I did NOT inherit a green thumb from my mom, that's for sure. Man, I even kill houseplants! It's so bad.... haha.

Sheldon sent in his application today for TEC (Teens Encounter Christ) in May. Yes!!! He's been waiting 4 years to be old enough to go, and for awhile there we didn't know if it was going to work out for that weekend. But it did work out, and he's going. He is going to have such a great weekend. I wish I could be there. I miss TEC so much. My TEC weekend as an adult observer was one of the most amazing experiences. I pray that he will be able to say the same. :-) I am so excited for him. I need to start getting wheat ready... ;-)

Chantelle called last night. She often phones when she's riding the train home from work -- she gets bored easily... lol. She's doing well, the jobs are going fine -- although she is very tired with working 2 jobs. But it's all good. She started team meetings for TEC last week, so that is exciting. Such fun. :-D

She wants Sheldon to come out to Calgary again this summer for the Stampede. They had such a good time last summer. If he goes out by July 7th, they can go to the Stabilo concert. Cool. Sheldon is planning to go to camp again this summer, too, so that's good. I wasn't sure if he'd still want to go. He's drifted away from so much of that stuff this past year.

He goes for his driver's test on May 3!!! Yikes.... He's had some driving time in with the instructor through school driver's ed classes, but hasn't had any practise otherwise. Which has frustrated me. I can't take him out since I don't drive. It frustrates and makes me mad when others don't take up their responsibility...... Would it be that difficult? He's had his learner's now for almost 6 months. Instead, I had to make a call and make sure that it happened. Why is it always up to me? Grrr.... Ongoing theme in my head today. I had too much time to think while raking leaves.... and I'd better quit now before I say more than I should ... =\

It's Friday... and a beautiful spring day! :-D

I took the day off work, and am leaving in about an hour -- I have another workshop this weekend. The last one until fall. I had tons of Bible reading to do for this one... and umm... still not done. Yeah, it's that procrastination thing again... lol. At least I've done quite a bit, some people haven't even started. ;-) I dunno, this one looks a little "heavy", not sure if I'm up for it or not. I guess we'll see....

Things are pretty quiet otherwise. Chantelle's jobs are going well, she really enjoys working at the coffeeshop. The owner was even talking to her the other day about how much time she needs off over Christmas. Nice! Considering that last year at her old job they wouldn't give her anything other than Christmas Day and one other day.

Lots going on in my head yesterday/last night, one of the reasons for my procrastination on the reading -- couldn't seem to focus. But all is well -- just needing to work out some stuff for myself.

I've been get back into walking again, which is a good thing. I used to go on a regular basis for awhile early last winter, but got out of the habit over the holidays and never got back into it. Part of it was just wimping out due to the cold, and part of it was not being motivated or committed. But having someone to be "accountable" to helps. A friend and I try to do some form of exercise every day about the same time, and that makes a difference. I like walking because I can take my discman and listen to some music and, depending on my mood, either just enjoy the music along with the exercise, or sometimes use the time to think and reflect. Either way, it's all good.

I got my income tax refund back a couple of days ago. It wasn't alot, but hey.... every little bit helps!

Okay, time to get back to my reading. Have a great weekend! (to those who actually read this..... haha)

I am generally a pretty forgiving person. But sometimes, I let certain things really get to me, and I know I shouldn't. Not even big stuff, but stupid stuff that in the long run doesn't really matter. So why do I let it bug me? Why do I go back to it, letting it irritate me over and over again? I suppose because the situation never really gets resolved, just shelved for a little while. I should learn to step away. Blahh....

This next ramble is not about me in particular, but is more of an observation about self-forgiveness.

Forgiveness... not an easy concept alot of the time. Forgiveness not only of others, but of ourselves. I think that for some people, that is the hardest, forgiveness of self. Without it, there isn't peace. Without it, we only punish ourselves. Our wounds do not heal. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what was done or said or whatever was "okay". It means that we accept that it happened, we accept the consequences and deal with them, and we release the guilt we feel. And with it, the pain. But so often we don't feel worthy of forgiveness, and I think that we can withhold it as a way to subconsciously punish ourselves. We may think that in forgiving ourselves we are not holding ourselves accountable, that we are "letting ourselves off the hook", or that we are somehow justifying what we've done. We are still accountable, but we need to know that we are still worthy and loveable and acceptable -- that we are human, and we make mistakes.

Forgiveness is an act of love. It's hard to forgive ourselves if we don't love ourselves. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it often takes great strength to forgive. Unforgiveness causes so much hurt, so much pain.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting. It is about not bringing up the issue to yourself over and over again in a negative way. It is about letting it go so that you can move on in a healthy and positive way.

The negative energy involved in holding onto our guilt is draining, exhausting. And when we hold onto our guilt, we hold onto anger.... and often that anger is turned toward others. So we can end up hurting other people as a result. But most of all, we hurt ourselves -- physically by how it affects our health, and mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

When we cannot forgive ourselves, we carry this heavy weight with us all the time. If we can forgive, we can put down that weight down and leave it behind us. Like a piece of heavy luggage -- do we want to carry that around with us, to live with the pain of doing so, or do we want to release our grip on it and feel the weight lifted? Can we give ourselves permission to heal?

Sometimes we don't receive forgiveness from someone we have hurt even after we have apologized and done our best to make amends, but hopefully we can find it within our own hearts to forgive ourselves. For only through forgiveness can we find the peace we long for.

We can't change the past, but we can change how we deal with the present. It is not easy, but it can be done... and with others who love us walking by our side, the seemingly impossible may seem just a little bit easier.

It always amazes me how God uses the people in my life to remind me of His presence, to encourage me, to teach me, to love me... I shouldn't be surprised, I know, but it still amazes me all the time. It's that perfect timing... it's like "Yes! Thank you, God, you know I needed that today..." :-) Thank you, Alan, for sharing your gift and for the song. *hugs*

It's been a quiet day. I went to the ecumenical Good Friday service this morning. It was good, but for some reason not like other years. I don't know if it was the service itself, or if it was me. I seemed to be very distracted and couldn't focus. I dunno....

Sheldon went to the annual car show in Saskatoon with his dad. I hope they have fun -- it is good that they have some time together, there isn't enough of that. I think Robbie and Rachel went as well, at least they were talking about going. Since I don't have to work today, I have the house to myself and am just chillin'. ;-)

Chantelle called the other day. She got a job working at a coffeeshop downtown. It will be steady hours, 10:30-4:30, Mon-Fri. That's only 28 hours a week, though, so she asked if she could work evenings and weekends at Old Navy as well (she started there last week, different location than before). Her manager was very accomodating, so hopefully that will all work out well.

I miss her... I wish she could be home for Easter, or just be home anytime to visit. She lives too far away for me, but such is life. Thankfully we live in a time of telephones and email. ;-)

Laundry calls. I should get something done today.... lol.

Happy and Blessed Easter to everyone. :-)

Currently playing: Never Look Away ~ Building 429

The Passion

I watched "The Passion of the Christ" again today... I got the dvd for Christmas, but hadn't watched it. Haven't seen it since the first time, the week it came out in the theatre. Today is Palm Sunday, and we read the Passion account from the Gospel of Matthew in church today. The whole time, I'm seeing it in my mind. So I decided that today was a good day to watch it.

It was emotionally draining. Not as bad as the first time, but still draining.

It's been that kind of day... alot of things on my mind today...


Currently playing: Grace and Love ~ Kutless

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says...I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Unknown


Another email "thought of the day". I just liked it.

This was the "thought of the day" in my email this morning:

"True kindness presupposes the faculty of imagining as one's own the suffering and joys of others." ~ Andre Gide

Kind of interesting as I sat here this morning hurting with a friend, and wishing that there was some way to ease the pain, willing to take it on myself if only I could do so. Which of course I can't. All I can do is listen, and offer my love and support. When someone I love hurts, I hurt. And I feel so helpless. I hate that sense of helplessness. I want to be able to do more.

What is my role? I'm not a dispenser of great wisdom or advice (although I remember being told one time that my advice was better than I thought... haha). I don't have all the right words, or insight. My words seem futile a lot of the time. I get frustrated with myself because sometimes I know in my heart what I mean or what I want to say, but don't always seem to be able to express it.

But I care. And I listen. I seem to have a role of being a listener, and an encourager. And maybe that is enough. Maybe it's someone else's job to fill in with the other things that are needed. Maybe I have to trust that what I am doing is enough, and that the rest will be provided.



Currently playing: Calmer of the Storm ~ downhere

When everything is wrong
The day has passed and nothing's done
And the whole world seems against me
When I'm rolling in my bed, there's a storm in my head
I'm afraid of sinking in despair.....

(Not for me this time... this song got me through many a bad time, but this time, it's not for me...)

I had a wonderful time at the conference. Very interesting discussions, and it was so great to see my friends. I felt really bad because Lana was supposed to go with me, and she couldn't make it. But it was so great to see my other friends, and it was really good to have a chat with Elaine. She told me I looked like I was at peace. I'm glad that it is noticeable, because I am. :-)

I was so tired afterward, and ended up staying up really late the night I got home, talking to Chantelle. Had to nap on Sunday afternoon... lol. I love having naps on Sundays.

So, still no job yet for Chantelle, but she's waiting to hear back. They are hiring for 2 positions, but interviewed alot of people. If they are interested, she could get called back to work on either Friday or Saturday night, and be evaluated on her job performance, then wait again after that. In the meantime, she's still out looking.

She went to pick up her final paycheque from the PP job, only to find out that the guy hadn't signed the cheques and had left for the weekend. She was not impressed! What a screwy place...

Almost done with reports for work.... ugh.... I hate reports. Got my income tax done and mailed. Cross that one off the list.... lol.

Oh...... I almost forgot!!! I heard from some good friends a couple of nights ago -- a message saying "Call me ASAP!". They just got engaged! I am sooooo excited and sooooo happy for them!!! Congratulations, you two. ;-)

Not much else happening. Time to go play a quick game of literati online with a friend before bed. ;-)


Currently playing: Angel's Wings ~ Social Distortion

I wish there was some way to take another person's pain away. There isn't. We each have our own to deal with. I only hope that something I do or say can help to ease it, just a little.

~*~*~*~

Today is Chantelle's job interview. Praying that it goes well, and that she gets the job.

I'm going to a diocesan workshop/conference out of town this weekend. It was originally supposed to be a bigger conference last fall, but due to a number of factors including low registrations it was postponed till spring. Now the entire format has been changed. I'm sure it will still be good, but something different from what was originally planned. The Primate of the Anglican Church of Canada is the guest speaker (the primate is the bishop of highest rank in the country). I'm certain that at least some of the discussion will be surrounding the recent request that the Canadian and American churches voluntarily withdraw from the Anglican Consultative Council due to the issues of the ordination in the U.S. of gay bishop Gene Robinson and of same-sex blessings in Canada. I hope that the discussions can take place in a peaceful manner. There is so much division already...

It will be good to see some friends this weekend. The only time we see each other is at these workshops, and it's always a blessing to spend time together. :-)

So many struggles with my faith in the past few years... so many questions and at times frustration. Not that there is anything wrong with questioning and doubting, I think that is how we grow. But sometimes it leaves you feeling very lost. I read something last night that someone said on a message board: "God likes questions. If you don't ask, how can He answer?" I liked that. :-)


Currently playing: Treasure of Jesus ~ SCC

It's always interesting to see how things interconnect, how something I've been thinking about, talking about, reading about, etc. ends up relating to something that someone else has also been contemplating in some manner.

Last night, I was talking to someone about friendships and relationships that I have made online, through the message boards, and about how some people in my life will view that negatively. But I know, without a doubt, that those people, those friendships and relationships, have had a purpose. Both for me, and in some cases that I'm aware of, for them. I would not be the person that I am today, I would not be where I am today, if not for those people. I would not have the strength to deal with the things in my life, I would not have gotten to this particular place in my life, without them. A place that I need to be. They have taught me so much, and given me the love and support that I have needed.

If only some people could see things through my eyes....

Anyway, it was interesting, because I posted something on the boards last night in response to someone's thread. I almost took it down later, because it was fairly personal and I rarely talk about personal stuff in a public forum. But after some thought, I decided to leave it up. I'm glad I did. Because John found that it related to some of his recent thoughts, and his sharing of his thoughts related back to mine.... and well, it was just cool.

That used to happen alot. I suppose it still would if I was sharing more.

Anyway.....

This past week was a pretty good one, with the exception of Chantelle losing her job... man.... How stupid. Her and another girl approach their boss to talk about scheduling and some other issues, and get fired on the spot. He obviously can't deal with anything, and he's now on his own, so good luck to him! Let him handle the whole place by himself. Sheesh......

She got a telemarketing job, but hopefully it's just temporary... she just hates it. She has an interview on Wednesday at a good restaurant in a key area of the city (very busy), so hopefully she gets that. She would be hostessing, but with any luck could move to serving, which would be great for tips. Praying it all works out for her. I'm not in a position right now to offer her much financial assistance, as much as I would like to. Trusting that all will be well.

Otherwise, things are good. I feel more at peace than I have in a long time. :-)


Currently playing: Take Me In ~ Kutless

This and that....

It's weekend again. The week went quickly, and yet it seems like forever since I was away. I miss my friends.... :-(

This past week was winter break, so Sheldon didn't have school. I think he was bored for awhile cuz some of his friends were busy/away, but a bunch of them went to Regina on Thursday to help his friend's mom move and then to just hang out, and I think he's had a good time. Still not home yet... lol.

My mom took me out for supper last night, Chinese food. That was nice. Spent the rest of the evening alone. Which normally isn't a bad thing, I don't mind being alone, but it ended up being a bad night. The whole week had gone relatively well, but you know how one thing can just set you off? Well, I've been trying so hard to stay strong, but last night one little thing sent me crashing and burning. Not fun. Got through it, though, and both a very timely email (I don't know how you do it, Joyce!) and a chat with a best friend helped alot.

I had a great chat on the phone with Chantelle a couple of nights ago -- she is always so bright and full of life, always makes me laugh. Her job is going well and she's been getting quite a few hours in. She's a bit frustrated that her boss doesn't make a schedule more than a few days ahead, but hopefully they can straighten that out.

After I talked to her last weekend, she had talked to her ex-(but still good friend)boyfriend, and he later called Sheldon just to let him know that he was available if he ever needs to talk, and to offer him the money to go out and visit Chantelle if he ever feels like he just needs to get away from things here for a bit, maybe on his next school break or whatever. A wonderful gesture and one that means alot -- thank you, Mark.

So many people have been blessing us. :-)

I'm working today. Hmm... seems to be a pattern here of posting when I'm bored at work... lol. Not a real busy day -- steady, but not busy. That's alright, I'm not complaining. ;-)

The new boards sure aren't very active. They don't feel much like home yet. Maybe because so many of the "regular" members aren't there, I dunno. I have found that I'm not really missing the moderating, though. It's rather nice to just pop in now and again and not have the responsibility or the (sometimes) stress. ;-)

Time to end this senseless rambling and get some work done... :-P I hope everyone has a great weekend! Have fun at the concert, John. ;-)

Wow.... this last week and half has been a rollercoaster of emotions... I may post more on that at some point, but for now I'm just gonna say that I had the most amazing time on my vacation. Reunited with one friend, met several more, and just had a blast!!!! Some of us went to the SCC concert in Oklahoma City, and that was so much fun. We got to meet Steven afterward -- it was so awesome. I've waited a long time for that. But that was just a bonus -- the whole trip, the time spent with friends was what was important. I don't think I could even begin to put into words how much it meant to me.

It is the coolest thing when people that you have never met in person and only had cyber and phone communication with turn out to be exactly the way you expected them to be. That the connections are real and deep. Very cool.

I came home slightly sick, but am feeling a bit better. Dealing with alot of stuff on top of that -- stuff that is really tough right now, but I think will be okay in the long run. I have to trust that it will be.

I'm back at work today. I'm thankful that it's only for one day.... lol. I probably should have taken this day off, too, but at time I thought it would be good to get back and get caught up on all that I had missed, etc. Now I'm wishing I'd given it a bit longer, but oh well... This way I can hopefully clear out a bunch of stuff from while I was gone and start fresh next week. Going back to work after a vacation is always hard. Ugh...

Currently playing: Believe Me Now ~ SCC

Wasting time at work.... lol

I wish we had emoticons here, or could insert some. I was wanting that :hyper: dude from Hostboard smilies.... lol.

Yup, a lil excited today. Leaving tomorrow morning for TX! Well, actually I go an hour and a half to "the city", have lunch with a friend, and then fly out mid-afternoon. Will get to TX about 9:30 p.m., and apparently will be hitting The Waffle House after getting picked up at the airport.... mmmmm. :-D

I can't wait... It's going to be an awesome time -- wonderful friends, a concert... did I mention wonderful friends... lol. And yes, a bit of an escape. Temporary, but an escape all the same. Not really wanting to think about junk I have to deal with when I return, but am putting all of that on hold for now and am just going to enjoy myself.

I never would have thought, 3+ years ago, that I would have this opportunity. I never would have imagined making such amazing friendships, let alone actually getting to meet. It's been an interesting journey, without a doubt. My only disappointment is that I had hoped to meet a couple of board peeps who now can't make it... :-( Maybe one day in the future...

I heard from a couple of friends today. One who'd been kind MIA for the past little bit -- I learned that she's been going through a rough time lately. I feel bad that I didn't know -- not that I could have since I hadn't heard from her recently, but still. She's always been there for me, and I wish I'd known so I could have been praying for her. But now I know, and will. *hugs* for you, S.

Another friend I'm in frequent contact with but hadn't heard from for just a few days. She's been ill with what they thought were migraines, but she ended up at the emergency room and had a ton of tests done. Hopefully everything is okay, I'll check in with her when I get back. She's been my rock and my support lately. Get better soon, J.!!!!

Last night Sheldon was playing shinny with some friends and he fell onto both his elbows. He is so sore today -- both from the elbows and also just from skating for a couple of hours, he's not used to that. He has a basketball game after school, so that's gonna hurt.... ouch. :-(

Wow, Lent starts tomorrow. Hard to believe another year has gone by. We have our church's Shrove Tuesday Pancake Supper tonight. Not sure if I'm going, we'll see how the rest of the day goes. I might go but skip out early so I can get some things finished up at home.

I'm going to miss the Ash Wednesday service tomorrow night. First time in a long time. It's one of my favorite services. In fact, I like all of the Lenten services. Some people think Lent is rather depressing, but I like it. It can be a good time for reflection -- not that it always is because I can tend to get too busy with life and neglect the spiritual, but overall I still like it.

I'm at work, but really not wanting to be here.... can you tell? Hahaha.... I guess I should get back to it. Things I should clear up before going. My assitant librarian just got back yesterday from 3 weeks in England (she even worked out her trip so that she could be back in time for me to leave --originally she had planned to be gone the same time I was, but her plans were more flexible than mine). No doubt she's jetlagged, but will be in sometime today to catch up on what she's missed, etc. I should make it at least look like I'm accomplishing something today.... lol.

Currently playing: Jars of Clay ~ Who We Are Instead

Good news

I got a call from Chantelle. last night, and she got the job at the Pita Pit. Yeah, it's not the best job, but at least it's a job for now, which she needed desperately. She worked 7 hours yesterday, training. She's going to keep looking for something better, but is very thankful that she has this for the time being.

I had been dreading our church annual meeting, but it went much better than expected. That's always nice. :-)

Doing a bunch of stuff around the house today and tomorrow, taking care of some things before I leave for TX on Wednesday. I don't work tomorrow, so I can pack and finish things up then. I am SOOOO excited!!!!

The boys are out today, watching the Superbowl -- Robbie. in the city with the gang, and Sheldon at a friend's house. It's quiet around here -- no Superbowl for me.... I am SO not a sports person. Just me and my music today, hanging out online and getting some things accomplished. It's been a fairly productive day. ;-)

I talked to Chantelle. last night -- still no job. She's frustrated with the place she interviewed at, because they've been stringing her along. She talked to a girl yesterday who told her that she had applied there one time and it took a month and a half before they got back to her to tell her she definitely had the job!!! In the meantime she'd given up and found a different one. It's frustrating because she's basically wasted this time waiting on this job, when she could have been out looking for another or possibly working at something else already. In the meantime, no money coming in. Arrghhh. Put some money in her account today so at least she won't be out on the street.... :-P She dropped off a resume at another place yesterday and has an interview today -- praying that this one will work out.

I leave in 5 days for TX... I'm so excited! We are so unorganized.... haha. Deciding whether to stay overnight in OKC, where to stay -- where is this place? Is it close to the venue? It's pretty cheap, is it gonna be a roach motel? How do you find out? Can't exactly call them up and ask them... lol. Anyway, sooner or later we'll get it together -- and we're gonna have a blast!

One of my best friends brought me flowers earlier this week... so unexpected, so thoughtful. I have wonderful friends. :-D

Just rambling thoughts....

We've lost a number of our elderly library patrons in the past few years. One of my favorite old fellows has recently become sick and was diagnosed with liver cancer. He's almost 93 I think, so they won't be putting him through any kind of rigorous treatment, he will just be made as comfortable as possible. I really hate to lose him, he is just the sweetest old man. I've noticed him steadily declining for some time now, both physically and mentally. He is almost blind, but still takes out large print books and reads them with a special magnifying glass. He was in the library today, with his granddaughter. I was suprised, I hadn't expected him to be out. He looks so fragile, his skin is yellow and he is so thin.... I hope he doesn't suffer, but goes quietly and gently, just as he lived life. *sigh*

Our church's annual meeting is on Sunday. Ugh. I've come to dread annual meetings and church government/conflict/etc. in general. The loss of Donna is going to be felt immensely. She was always our "mediator", the level-headed, diplomatic one who could handle the conflicts, etc. with such grace. I miss her......

Music is so powerful, isn't it? I have a bunch of songs from various CD's that I saved on my computer here at work, and as they play certain songs remind me of certain people, or situations, or just bring up various feelings. Joy, sadness, longing, a touch of God's love and grace. Music reaches me on a level that nothing else does, it is often my strongest connection to God. He has reached me so many times through music, bringing me healing and renewal, breaking me down and then lifting me back up again. Revealing His love to me. There are certain songs that I turn to when I am feeling down, knowing that they will probably make me cry, but needing that I guess, for a time. Some songs I associate with a specific time or place or event and the memories that surround them, others are ones that I share with certain people and in hearing them there is a special connection. I can't imagine living without music. What must it be like to lose that through the loss of hearing, or to never know it? So much that we just take for granted....

I think life changes once you hit 40, I really do. I didn't think so at the time, but looking back now on the past couple of years, I can see huge changes. Sometimes I'm not sure who I am anymore. Or maybe it's just that I never really did know who I was and am now finding out. Sometimes change is hard, but I have to trust that it is for the better.

I think I've caught John's ADHD.... lol. Talk about random thoughts........ :-P

Friends

Friends... seems to be a recurring theme amongst my blogging friends... lol.

Yesterday was a rough day... and yet, it was a good day, too. Rough because some of the stuff I'm going through is escalating, and is going to get worse before it gets any better, I'm certain.

What made it a good day was the love and support of friends. Online friends who take the time, no matter what, to chat -- to listen and encourage and try so hard to make me smile -- and who return emails even though it's late at night. "In the flesh" friends who know from one look at you that something isn't right and ask how you're doing and offer to listen at anytime. Who, upon receiving an email, pick up the phone and talk for 2 hours -- crying, laughing, encouraging, loving, supporting. Friends who are willing to listen to me vent, who see me at my worst, who know my struggles, my hurts, and my faults, and who still love me.

God, I thank you for friends. I don't know where I would be without them. Some of the most amazing people have come into my life, and each one of them blesses me in so many ways.

And I thank you for my kids, who are the best. They are going to have their own struggles, but I think they understand.

I love the Encouragement Thread on the SCC boards. I used to post there a fair bit, and have been very neglectful of that. Today there was a post for me, and the timing was perfect. I just love it when those things happen. :-D

---

Currently playing: Healing Rain ~ MWS

Birthday reflections

So, tomorrow is my baby's 16th birthday. Wow..... how did that happen?!?

It doesn't seem so long ago since he was my adorable little toddler, so shy that I had people tell me "He'll never be able to go to school, you know.... he's just too shy". LOL. Yeah.... well, they were wrong. He not only went to school without any problem, he's grown into a wonderfully bright, confident, and outgoing young man (the teachers now say "He's a great student, but he has a tendency to talk too much in class... haha). Still as easy-going as ever, and just an all-around great kid. :-)

Only 2 1/2 years of high school left. Man.... I do NOT look forward to the empty nest.... I have one who is a home-body, one who is restless and adventurous (my 'gypsy')... I think S. will be somewhere in between. He has the self-confidence but I don't think has quite the same adventurous spirit as his sister. Although time will tell. *sigh* Sometimes it's hard to let them fly.....

I remember being 16. I hope and pray that he's so much wiser than I was at that age. Peer pressure is tough at the best of times.

(Such random thoughts, as usual.)

Baked his birthday cake, and I think it's cooled off enough that I can go ice it. Chocolate..... mmmmmm.... :-D Not sure when we'll eat it tomorrow -- he has a basketball tournament on Friday/Saturday, first game is at 6:00. Oh well, I'm sure we can fit it in sometime... it's cake after all!

Only 2 more weeks....

... till I fly south to visit fellow SCC boardies. Yup, second trip is coming up. I am so excited! Three years ago I never would have even imagined making the friendships that I have, let alone travelling to visit some of these friends. And not just once (last summer), but again this year. It's been an amazing few years -- I am truly blessed. :-)

Interestingly enough, my initial plans for this trip were pretty much only centered around the dates that one board member would be there -- but as it turned out, there is a Steven Curtis Chapman concert during that time, which we are going to be able to attend together. How awesome is that?! Not something I had originally expected to happen -- God is pretty cool that way. ;-)

So yeah... very excited about this whole trip. :-D

It's been kind of an expensive month -- first flights, then new glasses. Oy.... They cost me almost as much as the flight! However, they were much needed. I'd been procrastinating forever, always something else that came up to pay for, finally just had to do it. They ended up costing more than I expected because I had to get progressive lenses. Which is a nice way of saying bifocals that don't look like bifocals.... hahaha. Shhhh... I am NOT getting old!

Unfortunately C. still doesn't have a job yet, so I need to help her out some financially. Should be able to give her rent money and see what else she needs. While money is quite tight at the moment, I am grateful that I can still help her out. But praying that a job comes very soon. She can't afford to be without any longer.

Trusting that it will all work out for the best.... not only in this situation, but others as well....

EDITED to add: Talked to C. tonight. She got another call about the job she interviewed for. They are checking her references, and if all checks out okay, she should have the job. Hopefully she'll know in the next couple of days. :-)