Family

A serious illness in the family seems to bring to the forefront all those issues and dysfunction that people have managed to avoid/bury/ignore for years. My family has members who have cut each other off at various times in the past (and in the present), and there are alot of secrets and numerous sides to every story -- to the point where I have no idea what is truth. I sort of feel like I'm expected to take sides, and I can't do that. I listen when people talk, but I try to stay out of it. Not only do I not want to take sides, but I simply can't -- it's all so messed up, I don't know who or what to believe. People may have been able to ignore each other or the issues at one time, but now they are being thrown together whether they want to be or not, and it's rather ugly. Unfortunately, it's bound to get uglier. At a time when we should be drawing closer to each other, they are instead driving one another further apart. It's not what my grandma would want. In fact, no one is telling her of the difficulties, because she would be very upset that they are fighting, and she absolutely does not need that now.

I hope for reconciliation, but I tend to think that it won't happen. I know I should be hopeful instead of negative, but I've seen this go on for so many years that I don't have alot of hope of things changing. I think what will happen is they will get through this time ahead, and then once again go their own ways.

Some of the family are going with my grandma to her next doctor appointment. She won't ask questions to make sure that things are being managed well, so others will have to take charge. She's starting having some pain, and she has lost so much weight. :-(

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